{"id":481,"date":"2015-05-26T13:35:36","date_gmt":"2015-05-26T20:35:36","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.sostevinobile.com\/?p=481"},"modified":"2015-06-28T17:13:28","modified_gmt":"2015-06-29T00:13:28","slug":"the-worstest-wine-in-the-world","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/blog.sostevinobile.com\/?p=481","title":{"rendered":"The worstest wine in the world"},"content":{"rendered":"

Your West Coast Oenophile<\/strong> has been notably loathe to criticize individual wines, or wineries, on these pages. Not that I am unduly optimistic, or, like the San Francisco Chronicle Wine Competition<\/a><\/span>, given to the belief that all viticultural endeavors are inherently praiseworthy. Rather, the purpose of the Sostevinobile<\/strong><\/span> blog has always been to extol the bounty of superb wines that I have discovered on the West Coast and showcase them here in anticipation of our opening. Wines that do not pass muster are generally precluded from inclusion\u2014but do know that there have been many whose lackluster structure and pallid flavor nullified their citation. <\/span><\/p>\n

As is wont, the wine tasting season began with ZAP, held\u00a0for the second year in its revamped format\u00a0pouring at the cavernous\u00a0air hangar in Alameda that houses Rock Wall<\/a><\/span>, the ambitious successor to Rosenblum Cellars<\/a><\/span>. This pared-down incarnation of the formerly Brobdingnagian event featured\u00a0only six newcomers among the scant 92 wineries on hand for the exclusive trade tasting, including the debut from Zialena<\/a><\/span>, Geyserville winemaker Lisa Mazzoni\u2019s viticultural tribute to her aunt. Her striking 2012 Zinfandel Alexander Valley<\/b> was nonetheless overshadowed by an extraordinary\u00a02013 Zinfandel Alexander Valley<\/b>, one of the most impressive wines of the afternoon. <\/span><\/p>\n

Moving southerly, Glen Ellen\u2019s Madrone Vineyards<\/a><\/span> represents the rebranding of Valley of the Moon under its original moniker, with no diminution of its quality, as evidenced by two exceptional wines: the 2012 Estate Old Vine Road Block Zinfandel <\/strong>and the 2012 Window Block Zinfandel<\/strong>. Tinkering with technique in Zinfandel\u2019s stronghold, three prominent Lodi viticulturalists\u2014Tyson Rippey, Joseph Smith, and Barry Gnekow\u2014joined together as Concrete Wine Company<\/span><\/a> to bring forth their 2012 Old Vine Zinfandel<\/strong>, a wine blended from a trio of different vinification techniques: 40% concrete-fermented and 40% flash-extracted Zin fermented in oak barrels, blended with 20% fermented in stainless steel.
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A genuine newcomer, Danville\u2019s Glennhawk Vineyards<\/a><\/span>, made a modest statement with its 2011 Zinfandel Contra Costa County<\/strong>, a wine not surprisingly overshadowed by the earlier 2010 Zinfandel Contra Costa County<\/strong>. However, I felt little Mercy, Mercy, Mercy<\/a><\/span> towards Cannonoball\u2019s Angels & Cowboys Wines<\/a><\/span>, a venture that lists its address as Palo Alto. Their lone entry, the 2012 Proprietary Red Sonoma County<\/strong>, a blend of Zinfandel, Syrah, Petit Verdot, Sangiovese, Petite Sirah, and Malbec, proved surprisingly lackluster for a wine that boasts such complexity.<\/span><\/p>\n

But even this m\u00e9lange paled in comparison to what was arguably the worst wine I have ever sampled at a professional tasting. Four Corners represents the \u0153nological foray from Conetech<\/a><\/span>, the \u201calcohol adjustment\u201d plant in Santa Rosa. Behind this fanciful euphemism is a brick & mortar facility\u00a0that diminished\u00a0the proof of\u00a0finished or near-finished wines in order to lower its alcohol content below the 12% threshold to maintain its lower tax bracket. <\/span><\/p>\n

Conetech extols the precision and mildness of its signature Spinning Cone Column process, a technique for dealcoholizing wine they maintain is gentler than most conventional methodolgies like centrifuging and cold press extraction. And since alcohol adjustment is designed to lower, not eliminate a wine\u2019s measured alcohol, only a portion of the wine is processed, then blended back with the unadjusted wine to achieve the desired level, with additional step to retain the volatilized aroma compounds that evolve during the extraction. <\/span><\/p>\n

The literature asserts\u00a0that this technology diminishes only the alcohol, not the flavor or integrity of the wine. But what is claimed on paper is not necessarily borne out in the glass. Four Corners\u2019\u00a02013 Zinfandel Russian River Valley<\/b>, which lists an\u00a0adjusted\u00a010% alcohol by volume, tasted\u2014and felt\u2014as if it had been macerated with a Waring blender. Even the execrable\u00a0swill known as Challis Lane<\/a> <\/span>I was compelled to drink at a recent gallery opening could not approach this nadir.<\/span><\/p>\n

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\"MADD<\/a><\/td>\nSo what could possibly be worse than the abomination of alcohol-adjusted wine? A facile\u00a0answer might\u00a0be one of the so-called sweet wines that are fermented to a moderate\u00a0level in order to retain enough residual sugar to appease a soda-pop palate or a completely dealcoholized wine, like Ariel<\/span><\/a>. But alcohol-free wines or artfully-crafted varietal grape juices, like Navarro produces, merely aspire to fill a void\u2014to give individuals who cannot or wish not to consume\u00a0an alcoholic beverage the veneer of sophistication.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n<\/div>\n

As in all matters, there are, however, exceptions\u2014sometimes egregiously so. The perpetrators of this nadir hail from the vast expanse of the Great White North and its principal province, Ontario, though not from the famed Niagara Peninsula or any of the appellations governed by the VQA Ontario<\/span><\/a>. Buried amid the vast urban sprawl of Toronto, MADD Virgin Drinks<\/span><\/a> isn\u2019t simply an enterprise endeavoring to produce a sophisticated array of alternative adult beverages, but a vehicle supporting the nefarious agenda of the ISIS<\/a><\/span> of prohibition, Mothers Against Drunk Driving.<\/span><\/p>\n

It would be fine if these zealots simply devoted themselves to their stated mission of reducing the scourge of vehicular accidents caused by impaired drivers. But beneath their agenda lies a not-so-subtle desire to rid society not only of excessive consumption but of alcohol altogether. As such, it is particularly galling that they set their sights on undermining the wine industry, easily the most socially responsible sector among alcoholic beverage producers. <\/span><\/p>\n

The worstest wine in the world? You have your choice of three lo-cal flavors: Virgin Rouge, Virgin Blanc, or Virgin Brut.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Your West Coast Oenophile has been notably loathe to criticize individual wines, or wineries, on these pages. Not that I am unduly optimistic, or, like the San Francisco Chronicle Wine Competition, given to the belief that all viticultural endeavors are inherently praiseworthy. Rather, the purpose of the Sostevinobile blog has always been to extol the […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[4,17,2,10,36,3,27],"tags":[302,305,306,303,304,301],"class_list":["post-481","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-cabernet-sauvignon","category-malbec","category-petit-verdot","category-petite-sirah","category-sangiovese","category-syrah","category-zinfandel","tag-angels-cowboys","tag-concrete-wine-company","tag-four-corners","tag-glennhawk","tag-madrone","tag-zialena"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.sostevinobile.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/481","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.sostevinobile.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.sostevinobile.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.sostevinobile.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.sostevinobile.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=481"}],"version-history":[{"count":21,"href":"https:\/\/blog.sostevinobile.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/481\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":520,"href":"https:\/\/blog.sostevinobile.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/481\/revisions\/520"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.sostevinobile.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=481"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.sostevinobile.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=481"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.sostevinobile.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=481"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}